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  August 9, 2018 1:38 PM EEST

  In July and August, espnWs weekly essay series will focus on body image. wholesale jerseys .I was 13 the first time a doctor asked me about my family history of just dropping dead.Less than two decades later, I cant begin to count how many times Ive heard the question. ?Its been twice this week.I was the kid who played every sport and never turned down a chance to run around the park, soccer field or basketball court. Anywhere, really. But it all came to a halt on a hazy September day. The unfamiliar doctor was concerned after hearing a pronounced murmur in my heart through a stethoscope, and then he asked me matter-of-factly: Do you have a family history of just dropping dead?Thus began a journey with my body that continues to this day.I was quickly taken to the local childrens hospital and was initially misdiagnosed with a valve abnormality. Despite the error, my pediatric cardiologist was still correct in his assertion that something was negatively impacting the blood flow in my heart and that it would worsen. He warned of eventual symptoms and side effects and even surgery, but the news didnt feel real to me.At the time, I was lucky, and largely asymptomatic. I knew I had to be careful and what the consequences could be if I wasnt, but I didnt let it faze me. I earned 12 varsity letters in high school, and ran a five-minute mile with ease. I say that not to brag, but to explain just how hard it was to hear that I would not be allowed to play sports in college because of my ailment. It was heartbreaking. While I think I hid it well to most people around me, inside I was angry. I felt like my body had let me down.However, my condition did noticeably deteriorate in the ensuing years, and I had some scary experiences while working out. I collapsed one day after running and knew it was more serious than I had previously acknowledged.After seeing several cardiologists and hearing a slew of opinions over a multiyear span, I was finally diagnosed with hypertrophic obstructive cardiomyopathy (HOCM) in 2014. I was placed on extensive exercise restrictions and put on a twice-daily medication. I was in a constant state of fatigue and frequently got lightheaded and dizzy after performing activities as simple as standing up from my office chair or walking up the steps.I remember looking at myself in the mirror and wondering how I could have gone from such an athletic person to someone who couldnt do much of anything. It was a devastating feeling. In the fall of last year, I went to the Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy Center clinic at Tufts Medical Center in Boston. For the first time, it felt like the medical staff was listening to what I was saying and actually having explanations for it. And not only that, but they had a possible solution to alleviate many of my symptoms.Open-heart surgery. Specifically, a septal myectomy. And while hearing that initially felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room, I quickly grew open to the idea. I was being given an opportunity to potentially do so many of the things I loved to do again. I couldnt say no.In April, I underwent the lengthy procedure and awoke to my new-and-improved unobstructed heart. While the pain was intense, I almost immediately -- or after the heavy medication wore off -- felt such a sense of pride. I remember thinking: I did this. I made it through this. My body did this.I used to begrudge my body for what it couldnt do, feeling shame every time I had to make up an excuse for why I couldnt join friends at various exercise classes or anger when a one-flight walk up the stairs became debilitating. Now, since the surgery, I look at my body not for what it cant do, but for what it can.Just one day after being operated on, I was able to walk around the hospital corridors -- slowly, to be sure, but I was still moving. While I ultimately required two additional surgeries before going home -- to insert a pacemaker as an unfortunate consequence of the first procedure -- I still continued to get up and walk around. The halls of the ICU were my track, and I faced them just as I faced the actual track during my time as a competitive runner.After nine long days in the hospital, I finally went home, and the next day I walked a mile. Im sure it wasnt pretty, but I did it. I hope I never forget the appreciation I felt for being able to move on my own, breathe the fresh spring air and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin.Now three months removed, I am working out six days a week -- sometimes under the guidance of nurses in a rehab setting, and other times on my own at the gym. In my past life, I was comparing myself to those around me -- wondering why others got to run faster or longer or even why someone was skinnier than I was. But now I have an overwhelming sense of acceptance. Im just happy to be there.Sometimes, I stop and marvel at what I have accomplished over the past few months. I clearly wasnt born with the best heart, but every step I take and every new accomplishment in my journey feels like a victory.Sure, Ive had my setbacks. Running has still proved too tough a task (for now, anyway) and multiple failed attempts brought back some temporary resentment. But overall, I cant believe what Im capable of.I look at the scars on my chest not with disgust, but with pride. They may not exactly land me on the cover of Vogue, but theyre mine -- a constant reminder of what Ive been through and how strong I really am. Maybe I cant do everything I once did, and maybe I never will, but I appreciate everything I can do.And thats good enough for me.DArcy Maine is a writer and reporter for espnW. Follow her on Twitter @darcymaine_espn.? cheap jerseys . Meanwhile, there were huge victories for Sunderland and West Ham over fellow relegation rivals, leaving the battle to avoid the drop up for grabs with the bottom 11 teams separated by just six points. Eden Hazard and Fernando Torres scored second-half goals to seal a fourth straight victory for Chelsea, which climbed above Arsenal and Manchester City in the standings ahead of their games on Monday and Sunday respectively. wholesale nfl jerseys . Pettersen, winner of last years Evian Championships, had nine birdies and three bogeys, holding off a series of challengers led by Marion Ricordeau of France. The second-ranked Norwegian made her season debut after missing the LPGA Tours opening event last month in the Bahamas because of a shoulder injury. http://www.cheapauthenticjerseysnflchina.net/ ;. - The Washington Redskins have cut defensive lineman Adam Carriker and punter Sav Rocca. LOS ANGELES -- With their bats finally catching up to their pitching, the Los Angeles Dodgers are taking a three-game winning streak and a jolt of confidence into the All-Star break.Everybodys swinging the bat really well, said Howie Kendrick, who had three hits in the Dodgers 3-1 victory over the San Diego Padres on Sunday.It took us a little while to get it going. (Justin Turner and Adrian Gonzalez) had a little lull there. (Corey) Seagers been hot all year, but its good to see different guys get it going.Rookie Kenta Maeda (8-6) struck out a career-high 13 over seven innings and held San Diego to a run on two hits, including a solo homer to Derek Norris. He retired 14 of the first 15 batters he faced and struck out six straight near the end of his outing.It seemed like everything played off the fastball, catcher Yasmani Grandal said. He was commanding it, and then he was the same ol Kenta, throwing curveballs for strikes, sliders for strikes, good pitches for changeups. But we kept them honest with the fastball.Gonzalez got his first homer in 25 games to give the Dodgers a 3-1 lead in the fifth against Christian Friedrich (4-5). Gonzalez has hit safely in five straight games and is batting .455 over his past 12 games.Kendrick extended his hitting streak to seven games. He doubled and scored in the first and drove in the Dodgers second run with line-drive single in the second. He also reached safely on an infield single in the sixth.Corey Seager, voted into the All-Star Game by the players, continued his hot-hitting with an RBI single in the first. The rookie has hit safely in 19 of his last 21 games, batting .366 during the stretch.The Dodgers fought off an anemic offense early in the season to go into the All-Star break a season-high 11 games over .500.For our guys it was just staying focused on winning each game, and not getting focused on what players are hurt, what people are saying about us, Dodgers manager Dave Roberts said. There were a couple of stretches in there where we could have gone the other way.Kenley Jansen pitched a scoreless ninth for his 27th save.For the Padres, the three losses to end the first half left them 18-18 since June 1 and headed into the break needing to regroup.I thought it was just bad baseball, Padres manager Andy Green said. Theres nothing else to say. I thought we weree somewhat listless offensively. cheap jerseys usa. We had opportunities to square up the baseball and didnt.One Padre did, when Norris drove the first pitch he saw from Maeda with one out in the fifth over the left-field wall for his 12th homer.Friedrich lost for the fourth time in five starts, giving up three runs and seven hits over five innings.BULLPEN SESSIONClayton Kershaw threw 25 pitches off a mound before the game and Roberts said there was definitely encouraging progress in the left-handers rehab from a back injury.The Dodgers have not set a timetable for the three-time Cy Young Award winners return.He will not be in the rotation when we come back from the break, Roberts saidFIRST SERVETennis player and Thousand Oaks resident Sam Querrey threw out the games ceremonial first pitch. Querrey upset top-ranked Novac Djokovic in the third round at Wimbledon on July 2.TRAINERS ROOMPadres: 2B Jemile Weeks (right hamstring strain) continues to progress through his running program. The Padres hope to get him into minor league rehab games after the All-Star break. ... 2B Corey Spangenberg (left quad strain) suffered a setback running on Friday and has been sent back to San Diego to be re-evaluated. ... RHP Tyson Ross (right shoulder inflammation) has suffered a sprained ankle and will see a doctor on Monday. Hes been throwing still, but just cant get off the mound from a stability standpoint with the ankle, Padres manager Andy Green said.Dodgers: Bud Norris, Brandon McCarthy and Maeda are slated to start the first three games after the All-Star break in Arizona, with Scott Kazmir and Hyun-Jin Ryu to go in Washington. ... Long-time Dodger announcer Vin Scully, in his final season at age 88, took a routine day off on Sunday.NEXT UPPadres: Andrew Cashner (3-7, 5.40) will make his third start of the year against the Giants when the Padres open the second half hosting San Francisco. Cashner has lost five of his last six decisions, dating to May 8.Dodgers: Bud Norris (4-7, 3.98) will make his third start in a Dodger uniform when Los Angeles opens the second half in Arizona on Friday. Norris is 1-0 with a 2.45 ERA for the Dodgers since being acquired in a five-player deal from Atlanta on June 30. Cheap MLB Jerseys cheap jerseys Cheap Jerseys Free Shippingcheap nfl jerseys Cheap Jerseys USA China Jerseys Cheap NFL Authentic Jerseys Cheap Jerseys For Sale Cheap NFL Jerseys China Wholesale Jerseys Cheap NBA Jerseys ' ' '